My boy Barack O-Drama had a big day today. In what would be his last speech to the UNGA before the November elections, he obviously wanted to bring down the house with some real-talk about geopolitics and America’s place in the world. Swag. Go lay the proverbial smack down on all these bitch-ass nations, bro. I wanna see some tears.
But what did we get instead? Some straight-up pussy speech about “protecting free speech” and the “painstaking work of reform.” Come on bro, you’re better than that. Seriously, me and my bros didn’t wake up and 7:30am and pregame hard before the opening of the UN General Assembly to see some daytime television pandering to the Muslim-world.
But I get it Barry (Choom Squad 4 Lyfe, homie). In an era of increasing hostility between the West and the Muslim world, it’s important to throw election year politics aside and work for meaningful change on a global level. Focusing his speech on the power of free speech and shit like that was a good call.
My favorite part of the speech came when Barry was like, “As president of our country, and commander-in-chief of our military, I accept that people are going to call me awful things everyday. And I will defend their right to do so.”
Looks like Barack has been watching 8 Mile recently. He totally jacked that strategy from Rabbit, when he was all like, “Yeah I got problems, but you’re still a bitch.” Now when other nations try to front on us, what are they going to say?
But at the risk of sounding un-American, I think the main story should be Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad rolling up to New York 140 delegates deep. Bro, that’s like half the people who were at our Foam Party last week coming to a fuckin’ policy conference.
And even more impressive was that most of that delegation is staying at the swagtastic Warwick hotel for over $1600 a night. After a series of political missteps at home and a public power struggle with conservatives in the Iranian parliament, my man Mahmoud can still bring the party with him. Seriously bro.
There’s showing the force of your military through training exercises in the Persian Gulf, and then there’s showing the force of your swag through rolling up with a huge posse and getting bitches at swank New York hotels.
If the United States and Iran were fighting over a contentious swag program instead of nuclear one, I think Barack Obama may have just gotten embarrassed.
Swag Score: Iran-1, U.S.-0