Tagged: pick up lines

10 Domestic Policy Pick-Up Lines That Will Totally Get You Laid

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We’ve already covered Foreign Policy Pick-Up Lines, but what about those bitties who didn’t even know Mali was a country (it’s alright babe, shit’s complicated).

Well I got your back, bro. Here are 10 Domestic Policy Pick-Up Lines that are sure to get you laid at your next political conclave:

1. If your left leg was a ban on assault weapons and your right leg was dogmatic platitudes on second amendment rights, would you let me come down the middle?

2. If I told you your body was a Conservative negotiating bi-partisan agreements with President Obama, would you hold it against me in the 2014 mid-term elections?

3. Hey girl, I’m like Rand Paul filibustering the nomination of John Brennan to CIA director: I’ll keep you up all night long.

4. I’ve got a Keystone XL Pipeline right here girl, so let’s go back to my place and drill baby drill.

5. You hear about this sequester nonsense? How about we check out my crib and I’ll show you the virtues of pro-growth stimulus.

6. Damn girl, you must have been a terrorist leader in Somalia because you look like you came straight out of heaven.

7. Hey baby, let’s play comprehensive immigration reform: you can be the door to citizenship and I’ll slam you all night long!

8. Baby I’ll be the sequester and you’ll be the national deficit when you’re going down tonight.

9. Are you a General Atomics MQ-1 Predator Drone? Because you blow me away!

10. You must be Wells Fargo the way you got my large compensation rising.

So there they are. Go get it, bro.

10 Foreign Policy Pick-Up Lines That Will Totally Get You Laid

Everyone knows chicks dig guys with an intimate knowledge of foreign policy issues. And everyone also knows that chicks go wild for cheesy pick-up lines.

So if you’re heading out to an international defense and diplomacy conference tonight and want to mack on some ladies, take these 10 foreign policy pick-up lines along for the ride and get bitches wetter than the melting polar ice caps:

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                                               Muammar Gaddafi showing the international community how to get bitches.

 

1. Damn girl, you’re so hot you’re more than likely responsible for the 5 million deaths per year that result from climate change and a warming planet.

2. Hey baby, are you Iran’s uranium enrichment program? ‘Cause you’re the bomb!

3. Hey girl, let’s go back to my place and discuss methods to solve the Eurozone debt crisis because I’ve got some pro-growth policies we can talk about all night long.

4. Are you an Oil Refinery Plant in Southeast China? Because you take my breath away!

5. If you stood in front of a mirror and held 11 diamonds produced by child slaves in Sierra Leone you’d see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world.

6. You must be an air raid ordered on Aleppo by the Syrian government because you just blew me away.

7. Damn baby, you’ve got me feeling like a Sunni Muslim district in Baghdad because I’m about to explode!

8. The U.S. Congress should use YOU to avoid the fiscal cliff, because you’re stimulating my fiscal package right now.

9.  Are you the National Defense Authorization Act? Because you’ve indefinitely detained my heart!

10. If you were Afghanistan and I was the United States, I’d never pullout.